The pressure on young people today has reached an all-time high. Society and our families expect us to get a job the minute we graduate, to have a certain GPA in college, and finally, to meet that special someone at college and get married the summer after senior year.
Have you heard of the phrase “ring by spring”? Many people use it as a joke, but at many colleges across the country there is much truth to this statement.
Society seems to have turned girls into hunters on the prowl, ready to snatch up the perfect boy. It has turned us into Pinterest wedding board-holics, and sappy romantics who watch every romantic comedy on Netflix just to fill the ache of singleness. Isn’t this all ridiculous though? College is supposed to be some of the best years of our lives, so why are we wasting our precious years crying because we don’t have a boy by our sides? Do we really have such low self-worth that we can’t truly be content just with our friends and families?
I attend a small Christian liberal arts school in western Pennsylvania, where many of these sentiments ring true. There is so much pressure to get into a relationship, but at the same time, when you do get into a relationship you are basically telling the world that you’ve already signed the marriage contact.
As a result, girls are starving for male attention and have ridiculously high expectations; in turn, boys are afraid to make the first move. You can’t just ask a girl on a simple date anymore. It breaks my heart to see my single friends upset and discontent – crying to God and wondering when it’s going to be their time to get a husband.
According to recent surveys, the average age for women to get married is 25 and for men 28. I don’t know about you, but for most people that’s beyond school-age.
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord directs their steps.” -Proverbs 16:9
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I have not been trusting God. The Lord has plans for all of us and He can use us in unique ways when we are both single and in relationships. When we are single, God uses that time to strengthen us and He wants us to make a difference for Him right where we are at. I don’t want to waste another second of my talents because I’m angry at God for not giving me a boy.
“There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.” -1 Corinthians 7:34
It’s challenging to give this to God every day because no one in this life is guaranteed they are getting a husband just because they wear a purity ring. But I also believe that God made our personalities in ways that equip us to be wives and mothers. I’m not saying that everyone is guaranteed a prince charming to sweep them off their feet and carry them into the sunset, but I do know that many girls are just waiting as God protects their hearts.
How to beat the single blues:
- Fill yourself with scripture. Soak yourself daily in God’s promises and truths.
- Pray for your future husband and your future. Pray for God to prepare you to be a Proverbs 31-kind of wife and that He may bless your husband, wherever He may be in the world right now. Or pray for peace and contentment if maybe He has called you to be single for the rest of your life.
- Look for ways to serve. Don’t cry your heart out to Sleepless in Seattle one more time, get off the couch and search for ways that God can use you right where you are today.
- Don’t fret. You are an amazing creation of God and if some boy isn’t taking the time to notice that, he’s not worth you noticing.
So, the next time you’re at some family function and a relative asks the dreaded, “Have you met any nice boys at school?” Don’t let it ruin your day. God is always doing a hundred things in our lives that we aren’t aware of at any moment. We have to believe that He knows best: even if it means waiting for years for the right guy to show up or letting go of Mr. Not-So-Right. Allow God to use and equip you in this time of singleness because He has a purpose for your date-less weekend.
He holds your heart in His hands, trust Him.
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