I am no love expert. In fact, I am 24, single, and have not had any great success in this area of my life. Which is most likely why God has been calling me to change my perspective on what it means to be single. After I read When God Writes Your Love Story, I felt so challenged and so on fire for developing and preparing my love life into what God truly desires it to be. As you go through each chapter of this book, I hope you will be more inspired to transform your heart, mind and soul into what it means to allow God to be the author not of just your love story, but your whole life.
Here are the five lessons I learned from this book:
1. God wants the first place in your heart
“God was challenging me to apply Christianity to every area of my life. God wants to be in the center of every area of your life.” -Eric Ludy
God doesn’t want to be limited to the areas of your life that you say He can have. He wants it all. For me, that translated into, sure I’ll be on the worship team but I want to stay in control of my love life and finances. But God doesn’t work that way. His ways are not our ways, they are higher and better. If we don’t trust and allow Him to show us His plans, then we miss out on God’s best. As His children, He wants nothing less than the best for us.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” -Isaiah 55:8
2. Use singleness as an opportunity to bring you closer to Christ
“Singleness can be the perfect time for developing life skills and discovering how to use your talents for the Lord.” – Leslie Ludy
During the single season, you have more free time than ever. God wants to use it to bring Him glory and bless those around you. So, now is the time to develop your gifts and talents to benefit His kingdom.
This is also a good time to try to learn important life skills like managing your personal finances, cooking and meal planning, and car and apartment/home maintenance. Use this season of life to its absolute fullest.
For example, I am so blessed to be on my church’s worship team. I started out singing on a team, started doing solos, joined a girl band and now I’m playing piano. God has been developing my talents every step of the way, he really has given me the desires of my heart.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4
3. You can only find your worth, value and identity in Him
“Where I had once put my hope and confidence in my relationship with Christ, I now began to cling desperately to each relationship that came into my life in order to find my security and purpose. My dating life became my identity.” -Leslie Ludy
For a long time I only felt like I was worth something when I was talking to a guy or going on a date. In relationship with a guy, I became consumed by him and ultimately it ended in failure. I was basing my worth and value on external circumstances. But, God does not make junk. I was looking at myself the way our relationship-driven culture sees a single woman instead of the way God sees me.
God has been showing me that I have value and worth because I am His child. He thought of me first, He created me and He will never leave me nor forsake me.
“For we are God’s masterpiece.” – Ephesians 2:10
4. Purity means thinking of what God wants (long-term) before what you want (short-term)
“Two people who have saved themselves completely – inwardly, outwardly, emotionally, and physically – coming together to love each other for a lifetime with the purest, most unhibited love imaginable…this is romance in its truest form! This is God’s perfect design for you!” -Leslie Ludy
Before God started changing my perspective on love, romance and relationships, I kept my romance and church lives separate. I knew I wanted to stay in alignment with what the Bible taught and save my virginity for my husband. However, anything else was game. It was good and fun as long as the man I was seeing was meeting my physical and emotional needs and we didn’t go too far. Ultimately, I always became emotionally attached and eventually, ended up in pieces when the fling or relationship ended. I was not thinking of my future husband, I was only thinking about myself.
Purity goes beyond the act of sex. Purity in God’s eyes is physical, emotional, and spiritual. It’s how you think, speak and act. It’s your heart, mind, and body. But, here is still hope for those who may have crossed that line of purity. God finds ways of calling us back to Him. Confess to the Lord what is on your heart and ask his forgiveness. Pray. Ask Him to teach you what it means to be pure in your thoughts, speech, and relationships.
“Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.” -Romans 13:14
5. Trust in God’s plan and His timing
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11
Maybe God’s plan for you is to be forever single, to be single for a season, or to bring the person you are going to marry into your life tomorrow. Only God knows the plans that He has for you. Plans not to harm you but to bring you good. Learning to trust and lean on God when you can’t see the road ahead is crucial to your Christian walk. In those moments of weakness – form the habit of turning to God.
Express your feelings to God.
Write letters to your future spouse.
I give this book 4 out of 5 stars.