Pinterest and I have a “I hate that I love you’’ type relationship because on one end it is by far the best thing created since cheesecake (my love for cheesecake is real, y’all). I can create an entire new wardrobe, find a recipe for dinner, and learn how to lose ten pounds in a week all in one place. But its a trap from the beginning because you can never go on for just 20 minutes. Pinterest (or any social media site!) often sucks you in and next thing you know the laundry that you were supposed to fold an hour ago is still on your bed.
My love for Pinterest began my freshman year of college when I started working for a preschool. It was easy for me to get the concept: create boards (with cute witty names of course!), find ideas I liked, and pin them.
It didn’t take long for me to learn how to create a dream wedding on Pinterest..without even having a husband. 362 pins later, I had at least three color combinations picked out, flower girl outfits, gifts for the mother and father of the groom, and different menu options. Next the on the list was the location, would it be a beach wedding? Rustic theme? Cinderella ball style? Or perhaps a night wedding? But, you get the idea. There was one thing I was missing thought (besides the husband) – there was no engagement ring on my ring finger.
If I was being completely honest with myself, I was wasting valuable time focusing on a part of my life that wasn’t even here yet or may never come. There were so many things God called me to be and do in this season, and a bride was not one of them. Once I realized I was secretly feeding the desires of the discontent single girl living inside of me, I knew there was only one thing to do: delete my Pinterest wedding board titled “I Do” (basic name, I know).
I had to rip the bandaid off and let it go. Maybe you do too? Now, before you say, “Its not that big of a deal,” let me ask you three questions:
- Are you getting married anytime soon? (As in, an engagement ring is on your finger right now). No? Okay delete.
- Are you single? (Single means you aren’t married). Yes? Delete it, girl.
- Do you have some unresolved discontentment with being single? Yes? Bye Bye to the wedding board.
Why should we focus on a future we may not even have, because we all know that getting married isn’t a reward from Jesus for being a good Christian girl and that married or unmarried we can be used to bring Him great glory.
A woman who has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in Spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthy responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit not to place restriction on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. -1 Corinthians 7:34-35
The key part of this verse is “I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best.”
So often we seek relationships to satisfy our own earthly needs. The enemy has used the idea of marriage to creep into our lives and distract us from what God is calling us to do right now.
Then one day you look up and everyone you know is in a relationship or getting married and you have loneliness, anger, and discontentment in your heart. I am not afraid to say I have been there but realizing how I idolized a relationship and marriage has set me free. My prayer is that no matter if I am single at 21, 30, or 55 I am content with my portion.
So, how do you know if marriage has become an idol in your life? It’s one simple question.
Is God still good if you never get married?
If you can’t truly answer that question with a “Yes!’’ I encourage you to
- be honest with God about how you feel and allow Him to transform your mind and heart;
- mediate on the Word (Jeremiah 29:11);
- get rid of any access points you have open to allow the enemy to distract you with this idol.
We are not women in “waiting” we are women “walking” with our Heavenly Father, bringing Him glory with all of our lives.