Every time my phone vibrated, I would eagerly check my email. Maybe today was the day, I thought. But, days turned into weeks, and then the weeks turned into months and there still was no answer.
Final projects were turned in. The first semester finals schedule was posted. And all that remained of my student loan money was not even enough to cover the next month’s rent, let alone make it until the next semester’s loan disbursement.
Faith whispered, “God will provide.”
Logic grew frustrated, “He had plenty of time to provide, now the semester is over and there is still nothing.”
A year before even starting law school, I spent A LOT of time praying, fasting and making pro/con lists. Law school is a big decision – it’s expensive, takes three years of your life and with the current legal job market, good legal jobs can be hard to find…so you better be sure you really want to be a lawyer.
I had a bigger dilemma though – figuring out if law school was God’s will for my life. Some people, even Christians, scoff at the idea that God has a plan for each person – careers, spouses, countries to live in, but growing up, I’ve seen the hand of God in every part of my own life and that of my family’s so I have no doubt that He has an amazing plan for my life.
I felt the calling to go to law school though. It was terrifying, but I packed up my stuff and moved away for a dream so much bigger than myself.
Every day since then, I’ve felt God by my side. So, I continued to wait for an answer to a prayer.
You see, the summer before law school, God promised that He would provide for my financial needs for law school. He promised great things beyond anything I could ever imagine.
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” -1 Cor. 2:9
Anxiously, I checked my email non-stop. I ran to my mail box every day after school, only to be greeted with more bills or advertisements for pizza discounts.
In May, I had applied for several scholarships and got a rejection from all of them except for one. In August, I was notified that I had made it to the final 40 and that the organization would announce the winners the first week of November.
Until one night when a sliver of doubt suddenly grew in a big chasm of fear.
It was 2:00 am and I was working on finishing up a big research assignment. I was exhausted from lack of sleep and the stress that the end of the semester often brings. On top of it all, the number in my bank account kept growing smaller with each passing week…November was almost over and there was still no answer.
That night, I prayed for a sign that I hadn’t misunderstood God over the last 1.5 years – right there and then at 2:00 am amongst stacks of research and my textbooks.
The email came the very next day. Congratulations, it said, you’ve been chosen. My hands shook and a tear slipped out – right there in the middle of the law library with an open textbook in front of me.
I immediately ran out to call my parents to share the awesome news – God has provided me with a huge scholarship to cover half of my expenses for the first year, with the option to renew for the second and third year if I keep up my grades.
Guys, our God is an amazing God. He works in ways that are beyond our understanding, and He ALWAYS provides for our dreams, wants and needs. Sometimes, it’s not how we expect it to be or at the time we think we need it.
This certainly was one long post to say something so simple – the grace and love of our God never ceases nor grow weary. We truly belong to an awesome God.
Whatever it is you’re praying for today – know that your prayers are heard by the King of Kings. He collects every word and tear. And in His time, He will provide.
Believe, and NEVER give up hope.
PS. I am thrilled to announce a new feature to this space… the Ask feature! Any question (even if it’s anonymous) + answers published on my personal tumblr page. Ask away, my dears!